“Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste!”

The Devil, Satan, Lucifer, Shaytan or whatever you call him/it is universally known to be a bad guy. The kind of guy who pretend to be your best friend but then destroys your entire life. But you’ve got to wonder, has this guy just been given a bad rap all along? Is all the evil in the world really his fault? Does he really dedicate his every moment to destroying the souls of humankind? Or is he just the scapegoat of a cruel and vengeful God? Well, that’s the subject I’m going to be getting into here today.

DISCLAIMER: The following is merely a speculative piece in which I am, as the saying goes, playing Devil’s advocate. It does not necessarily represent my thoughts and feelings on the matter.

As the story goes, humankind lived in paradise alongside God until the Devil came along and tempted them to break God’s one rule and eat the forbidden fruit. Next thing you know, they were kicked to the curb and forced to live lives filled with pain and suffering. Whether or not this is your religious doctrine or just a fun story to you, you’ve got to admit that this God character is a rather harsh dude. One infraction and you’ll get kicked out of paradise forever! Something that results in a convoluted plan involving impregnating a human woman in order to have a child who dies in order for God to be able to forgive everyone and let them back into paradise upon death! But that’s a different issue for a different time.

So surely we’ve got to blame the Devil for getting humanity kicked out of paradise right? Well, no. I mean if God is all powerful, why would he even let this guy come and tempt the fragile humans? I mean where was God when this temptation was taking place? The dude is omniscient after all! How did he not just turn up, stomp that snake to the ground and tell Eve not to eat that apple? applebadtime

Fast forward from Adam and Eve and let’s take a quick look at my homeboy Job. See Job was a cool dude. He was truly the best kind of person. So one day God is bragging about how awesome Job is, so the Devil decides to bet God that he can get Job to turn against him. God, being the Supreme dick that he is, takes the wager. Thus, Job’s life is fucked. He loses his fortune, his wife, his kids and gets afflicted with a real fucked up disease. Yeah I know he rides it all out, keeps faith and is rewarded with double what he had before, but that shit didn’t need to happen! Just because God’s ego needed stroking. And this establishes that the Devil had to ask God for permission to fuck with Job! So technically, if the Devil has to ask permission each time he fucks with someone, that means that this all-powerful, all-loving God let you get fucked with!

So is the Devil really the villain here? Or his he just God’s excuse for shit that is really his own doing. After all, he created the Devil, he lets him tempt humankind, and let’s not forget this is the same God that lets children die of poverty, and various other bullshit diseases. I’m not bashing God here, I’m just being real. I mean if sin is a result of liaising with the Devil, then why doesn’t God get all Sodom and Gomorrah on that motherfucker? Or does he just like seeing his creations get fucked with? Makes no sense to me.

So in conclusion, I feel that the Devil gets somewhat of a harsh deal, I mean it’s his job to fuck with humanity.  How would you like it if you were doing your job to the best of your ability and all people did was give you shit for it? You’d feel rather pissed off right? You’d feel pretty under-appreciated. After all, without evil there cannot be good, so I guess it must be good to be evil sometimes!

Well that’s just my two cents (or two pennies) on the matter.  If you wish for more content written in prose, rather than poetry please feel free to let me know. I love all of you guys!!

“Better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven.” – John Milton

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